Business, if nothing else, definitely builds character. Every day you face trials, fears, challenges, unexpected twists, and more. It’s easy to buckle under such pressure. I’ve buckled more than once.
But each time it happened, I came back stronger, more sure of myself, and with the ability to face these challenges with more peace – without losing my center.
It’s kind of like boxing. The first few times you take a punch it knocks you off balance. But over time, your ab muscles get stronger and you can hold your center as the punches come flying.
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Still, one of the most important exercises I do from time to time is check in with myself, and see what struggles I’m facing today.
I did that recently, and found there are 3 fears in particular that I’m still working on that I’d like to share with you. But first…
The point of this post isn’t to give you a “here’s a simple tip to eliminate your fears!” kind of message. I haven’t eliminated them – so I’m not really qualified to tell you how you can 😉
The point is to just express them and get them out in the open. That’s the most powerful way to deal with them that I’ve found. I don’t know if they’ll ever completely go away – but that’s alright. I can get better at managing them.
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I also think reading others sharing their fears so openly and vulnerably is powerful, too. It almost gives you “permission” to face and acknowledge those fears in yourself, and deal with them in a positive way.
One: “No one wants to pay my prices.”
Every day people agree to our prices. This has gone on for years.
Still, it scares me. Why? Because while about 50% of people we give proposals to work with us – the other 50% typically don’t because of price.
There’s a part of me that completely ignores the 50% that say “yes” and only focuses on the ones who say “no.”
That part of me is convinced that the “yes”s are a result of sheer luck that could run out at any time.
The “no”s are closing in fast. It’s only a matter of time before they win.
I know this makes no sense. We’ve constructed really elaborate systems to help people come to the decision of saying “yes.” We’ve refined and honed our customer service and sales efforts to encourage it even more.
I know it’s not luck. I know too that no matter how awesome you are, not everyone will “get” it and not everyone will say “yes.” It’s just a numbers game.
Still, as irrational as it is, this fear wears away at me and I face it on a daily basis.
Fear doesn’t care about numbers or statistics. It only cares about the most remote possibility of “what if…” that could take it all away from you. Maybe that’s what it’s there for – to help you prepare for the unlikely? I’m not sure.
Two: “My quality is not as good as I think it is.”
When you price higher than others, it’s for one reason: you think you’re better.
But what if I’m not? What if I’m just as good as the cheap options, I just charge more? Does that make me a fraud then? Am I just a big fraud?
I think making claims about quality, and asking someone to invest more money, comes with a lot of pressure. You have to live up to those claims. You have to defend them through your work.
And while I feel I do that — and the real-world results show it — these thoughts still linger in the back of my mind sometimes.
Maybe they give me an edge though? Maybe they help me stay on my toes? Or maybe they do the opposite – and pick away at my confidence?
I’m not sure. I think sometimes it’s one, sometimes the other.
Three: “At any moment, it’ll all go away.”
We’ve worked hard and sacrificed a lot and now have a good bit of success under our belts.
Still, every day, a part of me feels at any moment it’ll all just go away. Vanish.
This is probably the biggest fear I face.
The thing is, I didn’t get here by luck or chance. I worked my a** off. I seized every opportunity that came to me. I put my blood into every project I took on.
Like you hear them say on TV… “We built this.”
We built it, with intention and purpose.
Every day of my life proves to me that this fear is just an illusion. Still, it feels so real, and is so convincing. I have to take a deep breath sometimes and remind myself that it’s just a fear, and that my real life tells a very different tale. Things keep getting better the more I work towards them.
Can you relate to any of the fears above? If so, try this.
Follow in my footsteps. List your fears out and try to understand them, just as I have above.
Ask yourself questions like, “Why do I fear this? Does my life confirm these fears, or tell a different story?”
I think you’ll be amazed at the insights and revelations you have about yourself. And, as I firmly believe, awareness is the most powerful tool you can have in getting stronger.
Questions? Thoughts? Stories?
I’d love to hear them. Leave me a comment below.
See you in the comments,
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