One of the things about being a freelancer is you end up spending a lot of time alone.
After all, you work at your computer, at home, or in cafes, and only you and your expertise are required in order to have a fully-operational business.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
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For a long time I bought into a lot of self-help guides and motivational speakers who said, “You only need yourself. Other people are nice – but really you only need yourself.”
I now see that not only do I need people – but that this applies to everything.
- I need the people who prepare the food that winds up at the grocery store. They grow it and harvest it, and without them I’m afraid I just might starve.
- I need the people who manufacture cars because otherwise I spend 90% of my time walking around town.
And in business, I need my partner.
She balances me out, and together we come up with ideas that are twice as big as anything I could come up with alone. And when we get in a rut, and I feel like everything is sliding downhill at avalanche-like speed, we get through it together.
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I’m telling you these things about me today because maybe you also feel like you have to do it all yourself. I’m here to tell you that while it’s okay to do everything alone…
Things get done faster, better, and are more fun with others.
You already depend on people
Whether you like it or not, you already depend on people! And they depend on you. So you might as well get used to it.
- Your landlord depends on your rent – and you depend on their shelter.
- Your gas company depends on you paying the bills – and you depend on heating and air conditioning.
- Your clients depend on you for great design – and you depend on them for income.
It seems pretty apparent that having lots of people around makes life even better. Even if you never meet them in person.
I mean, it’s either that or we all chop down our own trees, build our own homes, make our own fires, grow our own food, and defend ourselves from attackers.
Oh, and by ourselves we’d have to do that all the time.
Every day. Every year. Until the day we died.
(I feel exhausted just thinking about it.)
So this is what I propose: Today, invite one more person into your life.
It can be a fellow designer who you can bounce ideas off of, share tips, or offer each other advice on getting and keeping clients.
It can be a business owner who could benefit from your services.
Heck, it can be a kid on the street playing catch with his friends.
Now, when you do this you face the risk that the person won’t invite you back.
But that’s okay.
Because just like with everything – it’s a numbers game.
In direct mail – we go crazy when we get a 10% response. That means for every 10 people who told us “yes”… 90 others told us “no”! Invite enough people and some will let you in.
As for the ones who said no, thank them. Without them it wouldn’t feel so good to get a “yes”.
My journey to learning how to let people in started one day when my phone rang. The caller ID said “Mom” so I picked up. “Hey sweety, how are ya?” she asked in her almost-New-York-accent (even though she’s never even lived up north, she still managed to pick up a New York accent somehow).
Then she told me about a networking mixer that was happening at a restaurant in midtown that night.
“Hang on, let me ask Lou,” I told her, and put the phone against my chest so she couldn’t hear Lou say “no” – which is what I thought the inevitable response was.
“Sure, let’s go,” Lou said. I stared at her for a second, and then blinked.
“Sure, let’s go”? We never went to these kinds of things! And now she was cool as a spring breeze going to one tonight.
“Okay – we’ll see you there,” I told my mom and hung up.
That night, two things happened. And one was very strange.
The first is that both of us felt uncomfortable. This was way out of our comfort zone. 99% of our clients live in other states, and even in other countries. We were good on the phone, and in e-mail, but in person, well, we can be a bit shy at times.
The second thing that happened is we met a lot of people – and we really liked them!
Sure, we didn’t click with everyone. But we ended up setting up meetings with two groups of people.
One group became our friends – and we were able to help them re-shape an aspect of their business. They may also end up doing business with us – but either way we’re happy. It was just nice to meet some passionate, awesome people.
The other became an acquaintance of ours, and we may very well do business together in the near future. Since then we’ve gone on to invite even more people into our lives. And every time – even if people don’t become our friends or clients – something good comes out of it.
And also, we get better and better at communicating to people exactly what we do.
This is really important – because even though we know why what we do is so important, not everyone else does. These mixers and meet-ups are a great place to practice saying what we do – and why people should even care.
Add your thoughts
Okay, so now here’s the part where I stop yapping (or writing, I guess would be more accurate) and listen to what you have to say.
So what do you think? Have you had similar experiences? Am I completely out of touch? Learn anything new? Have something to add?
I want to hear your thoughts! So go ahead and leave a comment. I’ll reply to what you have to say, and we can have a talk about it.
Hey Millo-ers! April here…I got really sick this week and fought tooth and nail to get out of bed, let alone prep posts for publishing. This is one of David’s earliest posts, and I thought it too good not to re-share as a kick-off for the new year.
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